Best cheers, best insults

[billhoward]

Articulate and intelligent humor is always the best. The first time someone (Harvard?) held up newspapers during a lineup introduction or man-down to show boredom, that was great.

The cruelest putdown by a losing team against the victory was Penn in 1979 when it got blown out in the NCAA quarterfinals by Michigan State (Magic Johnson) and the fans started a cheer, "That's all right, that's okay, you're going to work for us one day." Not sure if that was original because rich suburban high schools have used a meaner chant against, er, socially diverse city schools, "That's all right, that's okay, you're going to pump our gas some day."

So what are the all-time best cheers and best insulting cheers?

Has anyone at Lynah shouted recently, "Hey, ref, one more eye and you'd be Cyclops"?

[reilly83]

In honor of our often overlooked Saturday night opponent:

'Round the bowl, down the hole, let's go Brown!

[CowbellGuy]

ermm, that's "Go, Brown, go!"

[nnn]

I like "flip my burgers!!"

[Lowell '99]

At Harvard in 2002-2003, the Faithful came up with this one en masse:

"We had sex in high school, we had sex in high school..."

[Beeeej]

Okay, so the "Message List" page says there are six posts in this thread, including a new one - with the most recent by CowbellGuy.  But I still only see five (until of course I hit "post" on this one).  I've flushed my cache, shift-reloaded, restarted my browser, and cast a few spells, but nothin'.  Whassup with that?!

Beeeej

[CowbellGuy]

Don't you have anything better to do than check my server's math? :-P

I have no idea what the problem is. It shouldn't ever cache.

[Greg Berge]

2/14/87: "Hey Cornell, it's Valentine's Day.  And you.  Can't.  Score."

Good God that sucked, but it's still the funniest thing I've ever heard at a game.

My favorite Cornell cheer was in the mid-80's, during Laing Kennedy's "War on Profanity" (which was about as successful as the War on Drugs), we were warned that if we chanted "The Ref Fucks Sheep" anymore we'd get a penalty.  On the next poor call, the student section rose en masse and chanted, "We Beg to Differ"!

[Scersk '97]

Four of my favorites:

--"Hey [school], your recruiter called.  He said, 'Oops!'"

--Dan Choquette, a Yale netminder, was getting absolutely shelled, but only had four goals scored on him.  Our response:  "Hey Dan, we think you're actually a pretty good goalie, but your defense sucks!"  Choquette nodded his head and pointed at the band in approval.  He promptly let in another goal on the next shot.

--Faced with the rather unfortunate connotations of the "Your Mom Called" cheer at a women's game, we came up with, "Hey [goalie], your Mom called, she said [pause, pause] that she's rather disappointed with your hockey skills.  She thinks you should quit the team and focus on your academics."

--"Weder, weder," in a drone, ad nauseum.  Confusion supreme.  An opposing goalie just might get distracted trying to figure that one out.

In my opinion, a loud and organized somewhat spontaneous cheer is more effective than a sing-songy old favorite.  Always remember to call the goalie by his first name, to avoid profanity and the overuse of quasi-profanity, and to chant slowly and distinctly.  I think fans tend to forget that, after all, we play Ivy League schools and a smattering of other rather rigorous schools (excepting Vermont, of course).  Are these players likely to get distracted by the robotic "sucks, sucks, sucks" they hear in other rinks?  I think not.  (Warning, Kerry-ism ahead.)  Through creative taunting we secure the greatest advantage for our team.

Imagine Hyphen trying to puzzle that one out while trying to make a save.

Joe Bertagna's column on this subject is a classic:

http://www.uscho.com/news/2003/01/28_006012.php

An excerpt:

"One of the cleverest fans I ever encountered took aim at me in a Harvard-Penn freshman game back in 1970. Penn was building what would become the Class of '23 Rink and so our game was relegated to the Wissahickon Skating Club in a suburb of Philadelphia. It was a mid-week game for freshman teams, which meant about 10 people were on hand to watch.

"One of the 10 was a Penn student with a megaphone. Not one of those amplified police things but a regular cheerleader-type megaphone. He started during warmups.

"'Hey goalie, let me introduce myself. We will be together for the better part of the next three hours and I feel we should get to know each other.'

"He never raised his voice. He was never obscene or actually insulting. But he kept the needle going all game. If a puck rang off the post, he'd wait a few seconds and say, 'My. That was a close one.'

"If the Quakers scored, he might offer, 'Well. I guess that didn't go exactly as you had hoped. You must not feel all that good about yourself right now.'

"He was brilliant. I actually went over and met him after the game and shook his hand."

[Beeeej]

One of my personal favorites was during the second semi in Albany a couple of years ago, Dartmouth vs. Hahvahd.  A few of us stayed behind to needle their goalies, and we gave Dov an awful lot of grief.

"Hey, Dov - we want you to know that we really respect your decision to keep your maiden name!"

Beeeej

[billhoward]

We brought our 11- and 13-year-old boys to the Yale-Princeton weekend last year and they spent the whole game trying to see if they were hearing dirty words in the chants. One of our boys is supposed to have "auditory processing differences," but he didn't have any on that ngiht.

OTOH: Crude isn't often funny except for the shock value and once you say it one, two, three times, where's the shock value?

We (Cornell) used the Can't Score line at the tail end of the at-Princeton game last year when the captain took the faceoff. It went something like, "Hey, _______, you're captain. You've got a lousy team. It's Saturday night and you can't score. "  

We were sitting next to one of the retired Princeton coaches (from way back) and he comes to most every game but has to leave halfway through the Cornell game because it's too much for his ears.

[KeithK]

One of my all time favorites was at Lynah, mid 90's.  A friend spontaneously yelled at an opponent in the penalty box: "Hey [whoever], I could've been your dad if I'd beat the dog up the stairs!"  Don't know if it sounds funny now, but it came at a moment when it was really quiet in the rink and suddenly everyone around was doubled up with laughter, including the guy in the box.

[Beeeej]

I honestly don't ever remember doing it at Lynah, but that's a line I've used for at least ten years.  Was it me...?!

Beeeej, feeling old

[RabidSewerRat]

[Q]Beeeej Wrote:

 Okay, so the "Message List" page says there are six posts in this thread, including a new one - with the most recent by CowbellGuy.  But I still only see five (until of course I hit "post" on this one).  I've flushed my cache, shift-reloaded, restarted my browser, and cast a few spells, but nothin'.  Whassup with that?!

Beeeej[/q]

Yeah, I swear there's a post by CowbellGuy (2nd of the 3 of them) which shows up as the 6th post in flat view, but doesn't show up at all when you switch the view to threaded (it also makes no sense in context so I switched to threaded to try to figure it out, and it doesn't show up at all...)

[Ack]

[Q]Scersk '97 Wrote:"One of the 10 was a Penn student with a megaphone. Not one of those amplified police things but a regular cheerleader-type megaphone. He started during warmups.[/q]

We can use those?  I thought boo-girl had me beat.