Cornell @ Harvard, 11/7/25

[Trotsky]

Just.   Win.  Narrator: They did.

[scoop85]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

[pjd8]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

But - but - they "need these high grades".

[Jeff Hopkins '82]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

But - but - they "need these high grades".

The comment that they had to work hard in high school, so they thought they could get to Harvard and just be an intellectual had me wondering what planet they live on.

But it'll make the "grade inflation" cheer that much more effective next weekend.

[chimpfood]

Anyone know if the band is going to the games this weekend? I forget if they travel to away ECAC games during football season.

[dbilmes]

Anyone know if the band is going to the games this weekend? I forget if they travel to away ECAC games during football season.

Usually the pep band doesn't travel to hockey games during football season. I'm hoping they can put together an alumni pep band for Lynah East.

[Chris '03]

Anyone know if the band is going to the games this weekend? I forget if they travel to away ECAC games during football season.

Usually the pep band doesn't travel to hockey games during football season. I'm hoping they can put together an alumni pep band for Lynah East.

There will be a mixed band.

[andyw2100]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

--
Sophie Chumburidze '29 said the report felt dismissive of students' hard work and academic struggles.

"The whole entire day, I was crying," she said. "I skipped classes on Monday, and I was just sobbing in bed because I felt like I try so hard in my classes, and my grades aren't even the best."
--

The above sounded like something you'd read in one of those April Fools articles that start out somewhat plausible, but get more and more ridiculous as the article continues.

[Trotsky]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

But - but - they "need these high grades".

The comment that they had to work hard in high school, so they thought they could get to Harvard and just be an intellectual had me wondering what planet they live on.

In principle, I have sympathy towards this view.  Grading is the conveyor belt that presses down on mediocre minds to make them cogs in the business-engineering industrial complex of our NYT/Stephen Colbert era cleverocracy.  It's very, very dumb.  I know this because I did more splendidly than any of you, and I am an idiot.

But. I'd be a lot more sympathetic if the vast majority of these little fucks didn't spend their post-grad lives at McKinsey or Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz.

I am all for the rest of us muggles working ourselves to death to support the .01% of artists, poets, and philosophers who redeem the grasping toadies of humanity and make us more than vain, vicious murder monkeys. We have nothing to offer; they do.   In 1000 years the only person who will be remembered from our grand Western Fuckwit era (1800-2100), favorably anyway, will be Kant.

But these asshats aint Kant.  They're just another herd of Zuckerbergs.  So the least these shrimps can do is earn their marks.  Appeal rejected.

[Jeff Hopkins '82]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

But - but - they "need these high grades".

The comment that they had to work hard in high school, so they thought they could get to Harvard and just be an intellectual had me wondering what planet they live on.

In principle, I have sympathy towards this view.  Grading is the conveyor belt that presses down on mediocre minds to make them cogs in the business-engineering industrial complex of our NYT/Stephen Colbert era cleverocracy.  It's very, very dumb.  I know this because I did more splendidly than any of you, and I am an idiot.

But. I'd be a lot more sympathetic if the vast majority of these little fucks didn't spend their post-grad lives at McKinsey or Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz.

I am all for the rest of us muggles working ourselves to death to support the .01% of artists, poets, and philosophers who redeem the grasping toadies of humanity and make us more than vain, vicious murder monkeys. We have nothing to offer; they do.   In 1000 years the only person who will be remembered from our grand Western Fuckwit era (1800-2100), favorably anyway, will be Kant.

But these asshats ain't Kant.  They're just another herd of Zuckerbergs.  So the least these shrimps can do is earn their marks.  Appeal rejected.

While I have some sympathy, saying that you had no ides that the system is exactly as you describe is extremely naive.  Life is brutish and short, and getting into Harvard or any other university is not going to change that, unless you are in the 0.01% that are gifted athletes.  So AFAIC, "They should have known the job was dangerous when they took it."

And just for fun I don't think herd is the right collective noun for Zuckerbergs.  Maybe a "greed of Zuckerbergs" or a "steal of zuckerbergs" is more appropriate.   

[Sperris]

If you are coming into town drop by the Cornell Club of Boston pregame (4:30-6:30 pm). It is over at the Hong Kong near Harvard Square, easy walk as a group to the game. https://www.cornellclub.org/events/2025/11/bigred-hockey-pregame-ds-dgd-55w345-esned-gppss It's been a great event every year 

[Trotsky]

If you are coming into town drop by the Cornell Club of Boston pregame (4:30-6:30 pm). It is over at the Hong Kong near Harvard Square, easy walk as a group to the game. https://www.cornellclub.org/events/2025/11/bigred-hockey-pregame-ds-dgd-55w345-esned-gppss It's been a great event every year 

Scorpion Bowls are mandatory.

[Trotsky]

"They should have known the job was dangerous when they took it."

Holy fuck, a Super Chicken reference!  A very deep cut.

[Jeff Hopkins '82]

"They should have known the job was dangerous when they took it."

Holy fuck, a Super Chicken reference!  A very deep cut.

I use that expression all the time, but you're the first person I know who's recognized it.  Well done, sir.

[nshapiro]

The jokes write themselves

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/10/30/students-react-grading-report/

--
Sophie Chumburidze '29 said the report felt dismissive of students' hard work and academic struggles.

"The whole entire day, I was crying," she said. "I skipped classes on Monday, and I was just sobbing in bed because I felt like I try so hard in my classes, and my grades aren't even the best."
--

The above sounded like something you'd read in one of those April Fools articles that start out somewhat plausible, but get more and more ridiculous as the article continues.

Poor Sophie.  2 months in and sooo stressed.  In my day at Cornell, when we were told "Look Left, Look Right, one of you three won't be at graduation, Sophie would have been the one.  Now, I am sure that with counselling and extra support, she will graduate on time with a lowly 3.6 GPA.  I think a similar result would also happen at Cornell now