New recruit...for Section B that is

[Rita]

[quote KeithK][quote Jacob 03]Yeah, and why attend your kid's school play or orchestra concert or poetry reading or open house?  After all, they shouldn't be doing all these things for someone else.  They can just come home and tell their parents how it went.[/quote]
For me, I see a difference between attending an isolated special event (whether concert, playoff game) and attending every last game.  For instance, while I respect the hockey parents who drive hours and hours to catch every game at Lyanh, I think it's kind of crazy.  I think it's a lot easier to lose perspective about a child's sporting event (it's just a game) when you're that invested in it.

Of course, I may feel differently if and when I am ever a parent myself.

To be honest I think there are probably too many hyper-organized activities for kids these days and not enough "go and play'.[/quote]

Well Keith, I also disagree with you with respect to parents watching their kids play. But I do agree with your point that their is not enough "just play" time for the kids today, and I think that is very much a product of the world we live in today. If I had kids, I can't say that I would trust them to go play at the neighborhood park unsupervised like we used to do as kids. I think part of the "hyper-organized activities" is to keep the kids busy and supervised (and give the parents that sense), especially in cases where both parents work.


Growing up my two brothers and I played sports, hockey, field hockey and soccer mainly, but a season or two in Little League baseball and basketball. I am extremely thankful that my parents were able to juggle their work schedules to take us to our games and practices and stayed to watch us play. They also coached several of our teams. With three kids playing I can only remember two or three times when one of my parents wasn't at my game. In fact, when I started playing ice hockey again in grad school, I was very happy when my parents would come watch me play; my Mom even came up to Toronto to watch us play in the Brampton Girls/Women's Tourney that is held every Easter :-). If I had a really good game, either for "real" or in pick-up, I would call home and tell my parents.

I am also fortunate that I had parents that were very supportive and did not scream and cause a scene. The other team parents were also very supportive towards everyone.  I remember one squirt hockey game I was playing in the ref did not show and my Dad volunteered to ref the game. My dad was HORRIBLE and afterwards I told my Dad so using all the phrases I had learned at the New England Whaler games. Needless to say, that was the last time I talked to my Dad like that and learned a good lesson in sportsmanship (and respecting the refs and parents!). My brothers and I are very glad my parents took an interest in our activities growing up. My brother Gregg is doing the same with his kids and I hope one day to do the same with children of my own.

[marty]

[quote KeithK]To be honest, I think it would be better if parents didn't attend youth games generally.  Kids would probably have more fun and feel less pressure if there wasn't an audience making a big deal out of it. [/quote]

Which reminds me once again how much fun I had playing sandlot baseball in the "pig farm" field next to my house... and how much I didn't like playing Little League games.

[Tom14850]

This just makes me sad. That poor child has extremely abusive parents. Not particularly funny.

[billhoward]

"Mildly off color language"?

[billhoward]

Parents should not feel obligated to attend their kids' games. And the kids shouldn't feel as if they're let down if mon and dad don't make all, or even half the games. Some parents can't just cut out of work at 3 pm twice a week.

If parents do go to the games, the kids belong to the coach for those two hours. Parents, shut the bleep up. No sidelines coaching as well as no yelling at the refs.


There are times when I do wish, now that it's getting warmer, and at least for us well-behaved parents, that the Mister Softee truck also served up frozen margaritas. I never want a drink as much as when I can't have one.

[sah67]

[quote billhoward]"Mildly off color language"?[/quote]

Sure, compared to the way a lot of minds think around here.  Did you see the discussion of "romance" in the Riley Nash thread?

[ugarte]

Am I the only person who thinks that the players are closer to high school age and the screamer sounds like a girlfriend, not a mom?

[Chris '03]

[quote ugarte]Am I the only person who thinks that the players are closer to high school age and the screamer sounds like a girlfriend, not a mom?[/quote]

No. Girlfriend or sister. Neither her nor her friend sounds like a mom. Her friend at one point asks, "where's my boyfriend?" I don't know if she meant on the ice of in the stands.

[Drew]

[quote billhoward]Parents should not feel obligated to attend their kids' games. And the kids shouldn't feel as if they're let down if mon and dad don't make all, or even half the games. Some parents can't just cut out of work at 3 pm twice a week.
[/quote]
I agree Bill, parents and kids should not be obligated to show up at these events, however, I will share a personal experience with you folks.

I was a pretty good athlete, all state in two sports.  My dad was an investment banker worked all the time, he may have seen me play three or four times tops. He suffered an anneurism at the age of 48, lying in critical condition before his operation said to me "Should have come to more of your ball games"  I always thought it odd, that of the thousands of regrets that could run through your mind, that that was his regret.

That being said, I work on Wall St. as well, but deals be damned, I am out of here at 5:00 and at my son's 2nd grade little league game tonight.

NB
My dad recovered, hindsight being 20/20, attends almost all my softball games and hangs for a couple of beers after the game as well. Second chances don't always come around, choose wisely. Oh, and if you do show up don't be a jackass.:-D
Cheers!
Drew

[ugarte]

[quote Drew][quote billhoward]Parents should not feel obligated to attend their kids' games. And the kids shouldn't feel as if they're let down if mon and dad don't make all, or even half the games. Some parents can't just cut out of work at 3 pm twice a week.
[/quote]
I agree Bill, parents and kids should not be obligated to show up at these events, however, I will share a personal experience with you folks.

I was a pretty good athlete, all state in two sports.  My dad was an investment banker worked all the time, he may have seen me play three or four times tops. He suffered an anneurism at the age of 48, lying in critical condition before his operation said to me "Should have come to more of your ball games"  I always thought it odd, that of the thousands of regrets that could run through your mind, that that was his regret.

That being said, I work on Wall St. as well, but deals be damned, I am out of here at 5:00 and at my son's 2nd grade little league game tonight.

NB
My dad recovered, hindsight being 20/20, attends almost all my softball games and hangs for a couple of beers after the game as well. Second chances don't always come around, choose wisely. Oh, and if you do show up don't be a jackass.:-D
Cheers!
Drew[/quote]

The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...

[billhoward]

Good for you for being able to see your kids' games. Having said that parents shouldn't feel obliged to attend all of their kids' games, I make it to at least half of our kids' games. I'm lucky: I work from the house more than the office and can kind of set working hours. The factory where my did worked didn't have the option to stop building widgets at 3 pm on game days. So that's a generational quality of life thing for those of us who had blue collar or chained-to-a-nursing-station parents.

[KeithK]

I guess it's just a personality thing.  I play a lot of organized sports these days (softball mostly) and I really don't want to have people come and watch me (and I always find it a little odd when other guys bring spectators).  I play for myself and my teammates and the personal satisfaction of doing well is enough.  (Plus, having wives or girlfriends on hand detracts a little from the male bonding. :-) )

I guess the challenge for me if I'm ever a parent will be to figure out how much my kids are like me and how much they need the attention we're talking about here.  I think there's a healthy balance somewhere in between centering your life on attending every one of your kid's games/events and never seeing a one.

[KeithK]

[quote Rita]Well Keith, I also disagree with you with respect to parents watching their kids play. But I do agree with your point that their is not enough "just play" time for the kids today, and I think that is very much a product of the world we live in today. If I had kids, I can't say that I would trust them to go play at the neighborhood park unsupervised like we used to do as kids. I think part of the "hyper-organized activities" is to keep the kids busy and supervised (and give the parents that sense), especially in cases where both parents work.
[/quote]
This is one of the big problems today's society with respect to raising kids.  I played on the street or in the schoolyard unsupervised.  This is while growing up in NYC in the late 70's and 80's.  I guarantee that the city is a lot safer today than it was back then.  I think most places are at least as safe or safer now than they were 20 years ago, 24 news channel's reports of child abduction motwithstanding.  There is no good reason why you couldn't let your kid play outside unsupervised today.  Let them run around and be kids.  You'll end up with healthier, happier children (IMO) and be happier parents too because you're not always sheperding them to events and supervising.

[Ben Rocky '04]

This reminds me of an incident when I was a youth hockey coach.  I think I was a junior in HS at this point, and there was a mother of a kid I coached who just hated me, my coaching style, the fact that I didn't let her son take every faceoff & that I tossed her son in the box every time he clocked another kid over the head with his stick (which was a lot).  She just hated me, and trashed me to all the other parents every chance she got; but she was very passive- aggressive to my face and phrased everything she was saying to me as simple, nice, pleasant constructive criticism. So one day, I'm leading practice early in the morning up at The Rink in Lansing, and she spots a new person in the stands to complain about me to.  She sits down next to him and just shoots off her mouth.  Finally after about 15 minutes my grandfather had enough of her complaints, identified himself and told her he thought I was a good coach. She became very quiet and later that night I got a call from the league president saying she transferred her son to a different team.  Boy was I glad to be rid of her.  That woman was the epitome of a bad youth sports parent.

[Jim Hyla]

[quote KeithK][quote Rita]Well Keith, I also disagree with you with respect to parents watching their kids play. But I do agree with your point that their is not enough "just play" time for the kids today, and I think that is very much a product of the world we live in today. If I had kids, I can't say that I would trust them to go play at the neighborhood park unsupervised like we used to do as kids. I think part of the "hyper-organized activities" is to keep the kids busy and supervised (and give the parents that sense), especially in cases where both parents work.
[/quote]
This is one of the big problems today's society with respect to raising kids.  I played on the street or in the schoolyard unsupervised.  This is while growing up in NYC in the late 70's and 80's.  I guarantee that the city is a lot safer today than it was back then.  I think most places are at least as safe or safer now than they were 20 years ago, 24 news channel's reports of child abduction motwithstanding.  There is no good reason why you couldn't let your kid play outside unsupervised today.  Let them run around and be kids.  You'll end up with healthier, happier children (IMO) and be happier parents too because you're not always sheperding them to events and supervising.[/quote]

Totally agree. There are places where you can live and still feel safe about letting your kids out. One of the nicest things about my daughter's younger years was watching her run out the back door to my neighbor's house. If the back door was open it meant she could just open it and yell hello, and ask if their grandson could come out to play. Then they would run out to the triangle out front to play kick ball or such.

I also think that the worry factor is much greater today, for just the reasons that you stated. I'm glad my parents didn't worry so much as to not let me have the freedom to play and make up my own games.