HARVARD SUCKS

[Jeff Hopkins '82]

J Whittington was in fact the last student at Harvard to receive a B. Born in 1903 and after barely leaving the Andover Academy he matriculated in 1924 at the age of 21. It is rumored that during his tenure there is no reported sighting of his ever entering an academic building. The Brothels and Bars of Cambridge were another story. Barely sober a day while a student he made his big academic mistake by actually turning in a paper. It was not JW's semi literate style that caused trouble but rather his contention that "Publik educatshun is gud." That earned him the wrath of his tutors.

News of this stunning achievement spread like wildfire. While he was shunned in some circles others pointed to his performance as solid evidence that meritocracy was the rule of the day.


Whitington's Father (Sucks,'01')was furious and only left half of his estate to Sucks. Whittington graduated (Magna Cum Laude) in 1929 and immediately headed for Wall St. The rest is history.

Someone has too much time on his hands.  Must be the off-season.

You know who has too much time on his hands? J. Whittington Precisely VI. He was kicked out of Harvard during the great Harvard Academic Cheating Scandal Of 2012. He's had some real trouble with the admittance criteria to "hold a full-time, paid, non-academic job in a non-family situation, for at least six consecutive months before becoming eligible for readmittance."

He did succeed in holding an upaid internship at a Scottish food procssing institution. He specialised in the processing of tubers in thermaly excited lipids. Like his ancestors before him tragedy followed. The fire eneded his intership but he reapplied based on effort and was readmitted based on his excellent credentials.  He is expected to graduate like his grandfather (Magna Cum Laude) in 2016

Not exactly a challenge to keep the job.  After all it was at Whittington's Haggis and Chips, a lesser known Scottish Chain.

Love their chips.  Their haggis doesn't really do it for me.  I've had better.  But the Harvard Restaurant Review gives it an A.

[Josh '99]

J Whittington was in fact the last student at Harvard to receive a B. Born in 1903 and after barely leaving the Andover Academy he matriculated in 1924 at the age of 21. It is rumored that during his tenure there is no reported sighting of his ever entering an academic building. The Brothels and Bars of Cambridge were another story. Barely sober a day while a student he made his big academic mistake by actually turning in a paper. It was not JW's semi literate style that caused trouble but rather his contention that "Publik educatshun is gud." That earned him the wrath of his tutors.

News of this stunning achievement spread like wildfire. While he was shunned in some circles others pointed to his performance as solid evidence that meritocracy was the rule of the day.


Whitington's Father (Sucks,'01')was furious and only left half of his estate to Sucks. Whittington graduated (Magna Cum Laude) in 1929 and immediately headed for Wall St. The rest is history.

Someone has too much time on his hands.  Must be the off-season.

You know who has too much time on his hands? J. Whittington Precisely VI. He was kicked out of Harvard during the great Harvard Academic Cheating Scandal Of 2012. He's had some real trouble with the admittance criteria to "hold a full-time, paid, non-academic job in a non-family situation, for at least six consecutive months before becoming eligible for readmittance."

He did succeed in holding an upaid internship at a Scottish food procssing institution. He specialised in the processing of tubers in thermaly excited lipids. Like his ancestors before him tragedy followed. The fire eneded his intership but he reapplied based on effort and was readmitted based on his excellent credentials.  He is expected to graduate like his grandfather (Magna Cum Laude) in 2016

Not exactly a challenge to keep the job.  After all it was at Whittington's Haggis and Chips, a lesser known Scottish Chain.

Love their chips.  Their haggis doesn't really do it for me.  I've had better.  But the Harvard Restaurant Review gives it an A.

Only an A?  That's the bottom of the scale used by the Harvard Restaurant Review.

[Trotsky]

Only an A?  That's the bottom of the scale used by the Harvard Restaurant Review.

This inspires a great idea.  Harvard students should receive grades like bond ratings.  Although I guess it would be only about a decade until they all got AAA.

[Trotsky]

All I want from life is for us to do this at Lynah East.

[Towerroad]

All I want from life is for us to do this at Lynah East.

I prefer the Haka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlm6OfXzH78

[Trotsky]

All I want from life is for us to do this at Lynah East.

I prefer the Haka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlm6OfXzH78

That would be awesome on skates.

[Towerroad]

All I want from life is for us to do this at Lynah East.

I prefer the Haka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlm6OfXzH78

That would be awesome on skates.

I was thinking more like the Faithful but on Skates it would be awesome.

[French Rage]

All I want from life is for us to do this at Lynah East.

I, for one, would not mind tifos in hockey.

[Towerroad]

Lynah East Season Tickets are now on sale. After both of them are sold anyone want to guess when the single game ticket will be available?

[jaybert]

the website lists single game tickets as going on sale on Sept 2nd.  Says it here: https://tickets.gocrimson.com/online/default.asp?doWork::WScontent::loadArticle=Load&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::article_id=0245181F-F350-44FD-AD69-92D6821851EB&sessionlanguage=

not sure what time exactly though...

[jaybert]

reminder tickets go on sale tomorrow (not sure what time).

Looks like they're charging $30/ticket for the Cornell game vs $20 normally (and $25 for the Yale game)

[Jim Hyla]

Get buying, they are close to sold out, so they say.

[Killer]

Get buying, they are close to sold out, so they say.

It was a struggle on the web site, but I finally managed to get tickets.  A little spread out, but we're in.

LGR!

[jaybert]

Picked up 2.  The choose your own seats option sucked , didn't show any availability but when i did the best available, was able to get 2 no problem.   Out of curiosity I selected 6 and it found them no issues. This was at around 9:40am est.  Maybe too late now , but try best available if the choose your own seats doesn't work

[Robin]

Not sure why the Harvard site was so bad this year.  And why did it keep bouncing to Football games?  SRO only available now.  SRO same price as ticketed seat.