How I might die
Posted by ugarte
How I might die
Posted by: ugarte (---.z065105093.nyc-ny.dsl.cnc.net)
Date: March 30, 2006 07:02PM
OK, so I did this Death Psychic thing as a lark (as opposed, I guess, because I thought it could predict the future.
The prediction for how I will die: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.
Frankly, I think the death would be hard enough on my family. They don't deserve having to endure the pointing and chanting. Particularly when it clearly wasn't my fault at all.
The prediction for how I will die: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.
Frankly, I think the death would be hard enough on my family. They don't deserve having to endure the pointing and chanting. Particularly when it clearly wasn't my fault at all.
___________________________
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Re: How I might die
Posted by: nyc94 (---.cable.mindspring.com)
Date: March 30, 2006 07:22PM
Good grief! I thought this was going to be humorous and I got death by suicide bomber at an outdoor cafe.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Lauren '06 (---.twcny.res.rr.com)
Date: March 30, 2006 07:39PM
While driving, you impatiently tailgate a slow-moving semi. Without warning, the semi slams onto its brakes, and you slam into the back of it. A second semi, which happens to be impatiently tailgating you, slams into the back of you, crushing you between the two semis.
Given my penchant for reckless driving, I think this is spot on.
Given my penchant for reckless driving, I think this is spot on.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Rita (---.agry.purdue.edu)
Date: March 30, 2006 08:26PM
While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.
I guess I won't be going to Lowe's. Menard's or the Home Depot for awhile.
I guess I won't be going to Lowe's. Menard's or the Home Depot for awhile.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Jerseygirl (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date: March 30, 2006 08:30PM
Here's a shocker:
While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
___________________________
[img src="[url]http://elf.elynah.com/file.php?0,file=56"[/url];]
[img src="[url]http://elf.elynah.com/file.php?0,file=56"[/url];]
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Dianne 99 (---.atgi.net)
Date: March 30, 2006 08:44PM
After an altercation with a resident of a retirement community, you are beaten with an oxygen tank and dragged through the complex by a convoy of personal mobility vehicles.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Liz '05 (---.pn.at.cox.net)
Date: March 30, 2006 09:55PM
A gas leak in your home causes a major explosion, killing you in the blast.
On the plus side, this means I won't die for a while, and my profession will have nothing to do with it - woohoo! ...I think.
On the plus side, this means I won't die for a while, and my profession will have nothing to do with it - woohoo! ...I think.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: David Harding (---.dsl.emhril.ameritech.net)
Date: March 31, 2006 12:17AM
A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a large wrench.
Much worse than an axe.
Much worse than an axe.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: cth95 (---.a-315.westelcom.com)
Date: March 31, 2006 01:04AM
Edit: Thought I put this under the original post.
While driving on the freeway, you're cut off by a truck, and your car veers into the concrete median, killing you instantly
I don't know if I like that one so much. I have had dreams and feelings that I would die in a car crash. They were a long time ago, and I drove off of a bridge while driving a Porsche in the most memorable ones, so this must be wrong. I also only typed my first name, so it can't be that specific.
I would much rather believe the last Fortune Cookie I had after one of the people I was dining with told us you have to add "in bed" to the fortune. It told me my charm and personality would bring me success.
While driving on the freeway, you're cut off by a truck, and your car veers into the concrete median, killing you instantly
I don't know if I like that one so much. I have had dreams and feelings that I would die in a car crash. They were a long time ago, and I drove off of a bridge while driving a Porsche in the most memorable ones, so this must be wrong. I also only typed my first name, so it can't be that specific.
I would much rather believe the last Fortune Cookie I had after one of the people I was dining with told us you have to add "in bed" to the fortune. It told me my charm and personality would bring me success.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2006 01:06AM by cth95.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: nr53 (---.twcny.res.rr.com)
Date: March 31, 2006 08:58AM
David Harding
A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a large wrench.
Much worse than an axe.
oh yeah? I was beaten to death in a hardware store by a guy with a large hose... not really sure if I'm proud that my death will be weirder but hey I guess I can prepare for the inevitable now.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: jtwcornell91 (---.no.no.cox.net)
Date: March 31, 2006 09:28AM
Just stay away from Stavromula Beta. You can't die until after you've been there.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: ugarte (---.z065105093.nyc-ny.dsl.cnc.net)
Date: March 31, 2006 11:18AM
As if you'd know before it was too late.jtwcornell91
Just stay away from Stavromula Beta. You can't die until after you've been there.
___________________________
quality tweets | bluesky (twitter 2) | ALAB Series podcast | Other podcasts and writing
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Re: How I might die
Posted by: jaybert (---.cit.cornell.edu)
Date: March 31, 2006 03:40PM
You are bitten while tormenting a sickly-looking squirrel. You die from rabies days later.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: jtwcornell91 (---.no.no.cox.net)
Date: March 31, 2006 09:17PM
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Beeeej (38.136.58.---)
Date: April 03, 2006 08:40AM
My favorite was always Harlan Ellison's contribution to the discussion. He suggested that the worst way to die was by slipping on a freshly-mopped kitchen floor and landing, face first, in a drainboard full of freshly-washed steak knives with the blades facing up.
It was not, he said, the worst way to die because it was so painful or because it was so undignified. It's the worst way to die because someone's going to have to wash the knives again.
Beeeej
It was not, he said, the worst way to die because it was so painful or because it was so undignified. It's the worst way to die because someone's going to have to wash the knives again.
Beeeej
___________________________
Beeeej, Esq.
"Cornell isn't an organization. It's a loose affiliation of independent fiefdoms united by a common hockey team."
- Steve Worona
Beeeej, Esq.
"Cornell isn't an organization. It's a loose affiliation of independent fiefdoms united by a common hockey team."
- Steve Worona
Hmmm. Death by Hoser....
Posted by: TimV (---.amc.edu)
Date: April 03, 2006 12:32PM
Was it a Canadian hardware store?
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Trotsky (---.raytheon.com)
Date: April 05, 2006 03:30PM
I know for a fact I can't die until we win the national championship. It's a sort of cut rate Highlander deal.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Trotsky (---.raytheon.com)
Date: April 05, 2006 03:34PM
But it's good to know how it will happen: [Q]After haggling over the price of meat, an enraged butcher whips you to death with a large beef tongue.
[/Q]
[/Q]
Re: How I might die
Posted by: ugarte (---.z065105093.nyc-ny.dsl.cnc.net)
Date: April 05, 2006 04:31PM
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you were alive for the last Cornell championship. You should have been paying more attention when The Oracle was talking. Stay out of the butcher shop. Or at least just take the price you are quoted.Trotsky
I know for a fact I can't die until we win the national championship. It's a sort of cut rate Highlander deal.
___________________________
quality tweets | bluesky (twitter 2) | ALAB Series podcast | Other podcasts and writing
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Re: How I might die
Posted by: Pace (---.twcny.res.rr.com)
Date: April 07, 2006 02:21AM
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up
Well now....
Well now....
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Trotsky (---.raytheon.com)
Date: April 07, 2006 10:04AM
Pace
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up
Well now....
Stay away from Beeeej.
I'm just saying.
edit: I always forget how many e's
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2006 10:06AM by Trotsky.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Trotsky (---.raytheon.com)
Date: April 07, 2006 10:05AM
So, the "wooden wall" was Brian Cropper?ugarteI hate to be the one to tell you this, but you were alive for the last Cornell championship.Trotsky
I know for a fact I can't die until we win the national championship. It's a sort of cut rate Highlander deal.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Killer (---.fidelity.com)
Date: April 07, 2006 05:46PM
I die peacefully in my sleep:
You are the victim of a home robbery and are shot in the head several times at point blank range while you're asleep
OK, maybe not so peacefully.
You are the victim of a home robbery and are shot in the head several times at point blank range while you're asleep
OK, maybe not so peacefully.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: cth95 (---.a-315.westelcom.com)
Date: April 07, 2006 05:52PM
What's the difference as long as you don't feel it? Not to conducive for an open-casket funeral, however.
Re: How I might die
Posted by: ebilmes (---.0.127.207.adsl.snet.net)
Date: April 08, 2006 11:30AM
Since no one's posted this one, yet:
You become trapped in an outhouse and die from hours of noxious fume inhalation.
Guess I'll try to stay in the Northeast....
You become trapped in an outhouse and die from hours of noxious fume inhalation.
Guess I'll try to stay in the Northeast....
Re: How I might die
Posted by: DeltaOne81 (---.bos.east.verizon.net)
Date: April 08, 2006 11:38PM
ebilmes
Since no one's posted this one, yet:
You become trapped in an outhouse and die from hours of noxious fume inhalation.
Guess I'll try to stay in the Northeast....
Well, you *are* going to the North Country for school next year, right?
Re: How I might die
Posted by: Beeeej (38.136.58.---)
Date: April 10, 2006 09:54AM
TrotskyPace
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up
Well now....
Stay away from Beeeej.
I'm just saying.
edit: I always forget how many e's
Another friend of mine also once forgot how many e's.
Once.
Beeeej
___________________________
Beeeej, Esq.
"Cornell isn't an organization. It's a loose affiliation of independent fiefdoms united by a common hockey team."
- Steve Worona
Beeeej, Esq.
"Cornell isn't an organization. It's a loose affiliation of independent fiefdoms united by a common hockey team."
- Steve Worona
Re: How I might die
Posted by: ugarte (---.z065105093.nyc-ny.dsl.cnc.net)
Date: April 10, 2006 01:33PM
Fargin' icehole. (and jerk.)BeeeejTrotskyPace
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up
Well now....
Stay away from Beeeej.
I'm just saying.
edit: I always forget how many e's
Another friend of mine also once forgot how many e's.
Once.
Beeeej
___________________________
quality tweets | bluesky (twitter 2) | ALAB Series podcast | Other podcasts and writing
quality tweets | bluesky (twitter 2) | ALAB Series podcast | Other podcasts and writing
Re: How I might die
Posted by: DisplacedCornellian (---.hr.hr.cox.net)
Date: April 12, 2006 08:12AM
My unrelenting heckling of a prop comic drives him to beat me to death with a toilet seat. Meh. Sounds about right.
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