Best cheers, best insults

Articulate and intelligent humor is always the best. The first time someone (Harvard?) held up newspapers during a lineup introduction or man-down to show boredom, that was great.

The cruelest putdown by a losing team against the victory was Penn in 1979 when it got blown out in the NCAA quarterfinals by Michigan State (Magic Johnson) and the fans started a cheer, "That's all right, that's okay, you're going to work for us one day." Not sure if that was original because rich suburban high schools have used a meaner chant against, er, socially diverse city schools, "That's all right, that's okay, you're going to pump our gas some day."

So what are the all-time best cheers and best insulting cheers?

Has anyone at Lynah shouted recently, "Hey, ref, one more eye and you'd be Cyclops"?

In honor of our often overlooked Saturday night opponent:

'Round the bowl, down the hole, let's go Brown!

ermm, that's "Go, Brown, go!"

I like "flip my burgers!!"

At Harvard in 2002-2003, the Faithful came up with this one en masse:

"We had sex in high school, we had sex in high school..."

Okay, so the "Message List" page says there are six posts in this thread, including a new one - with the most recent by CowbellGuy. But I still only see five (until of course I hit "post" on this one). I've flushed my cache, shift-reloaded, restarted my browser, and cast a few spells, but nothin'. Whassup with that?!

Beeeej

Don't you have anything better to do than check my server's math?

I have no idea what the problem is. It shouldn't ever cache.

2/14/87: "Hey Cornell, it's Valentine's Day. And you. Can't. Score."

Good God that sucked, but it's still the funniest thing I've ever heard at a game.

My favorite Cornell cheer was in the mid-80's, during Laing Kennedy's "War on Profanity" (which was about as successful as the War on Drugs), we were warned that if we chanted "The Ref Fucks Sheep" anymore we'd get a penalty. On the next poor call, the student section rose en masse and chanted, "We Beg to Differ"!

Four of my favorites:

--"Hey [school], your recruiter called. He said, 'Oops!'"

--Dan Choquette, a Yale netminder, was getting absolutely shelled, but only had four goals scored on him. Our response: "Hey Dan, we think you're actually a pretty good goalie, but your defense sucks!" Choquette nodded his head and pointed at the band in approval. He promptly let in another goal on the next shot.

--Faced with the rather unfortunate connotations of the "Your Mom Called" cheer at a women's game, we came up with, "Hey [goalie], your Mom called, she said [pause, pause] that she's rather disappointed with your hockey skills. She thinks you should quit the team and focus on your academics."

--"Weder, weder," in a drone, ad nauseum. Confusion supreme. An opposing goalie just might get distracted trying to figure that one out.

In my opinion, a loud and organized somewhat spontaneous cheer is more effective than a sing-songy old favorite. Always remember to call the goalie by his first name, to avoid profanity and the overuse of quasi-profanity, and to chant slowly and distinctly. I think fans tend to forget that, after all, we play Ivy League schools and a smattering of other rather rigorous schools (excepting Vermont, of course). Are these players likely to get distracted by the robotic "sucks, sucks, sucks" they hear in other rinks? I think not. (Warning, Kerry-ism ahead.) Through creative taunting we secure the greatest advantage for our team.

Imagine Hyphen trying to puzzle that one out while trying to make a save.

Joe Bertagna's column on this subject is a classic:

[www.uscho.com]

An excerpt:

"One of the cleverest fans I ever encountered took aim at me in a Harvard-Penn freshman game back in 1970. Penn was building what would become the Class of '23 Rink and so our game was relegated to the Wissahickon Skating Club in a suburb of Philadelphia. It was a mid-week game for freshman teams, which meant about 10 people were on hand to watch.

"One of the 10 was a Penn student with a megaphone. Not one of those amplified police things but a regular cheerleader-type megaphone. He started during warmups.

"'Hey goalie, let me introduce myself. We will be together for the better part of the next three hours and I feel we should get to know each other.'

"He never raised his voice. He was never obscene or actually insulting. But he kept the needle going all game. If a puck rang off the post, he'd wait a few seconds and say, 'My. That was a close one.'

"If the Quakers scored, he might offer, 'Well. I guess that didn't go exactly as you had hoped. You must not feel all that good about yourself right now.'

"He was brilliant. I actually went over and met him after the game and shook his hand."

One of my personal favorites was during the second semi in Albany a couple of years ago, Dartmouth vs. Hahvahd. A few of us stayed behind to needle their goalies, and we gave Dov an awful lot of grief.

"Hey, Dov - we want you to know that we really respect your decision to keep your maiden name!"

Beeeej

We brought our 11- and 13-year-old boys to the Yale-Princeton weekend last year and they spent the whole game trying to see if they were hearing dirty words in the chants. One of our boys is supposed to have "auditory processing differences," but he didn't have any on that ngiht.

OTOH: Crude isn't often funny except for the shock value and once you say it one, two, three times, where's the shock value?

We (Cornell) used the Can't Score line at the tail end of the at-Princeton game last year when the captain took the faceoff. It went something like, "Hey, _______, you're captain. You've got a lousy team. It's Saturday night and you can't score. "

We were sitting next to one of the retired Princeton coaches (from way back) and he comes to most every game but has to leave halfway through the Cornell game because it's too much for his ears.

One of my all time favorites was at Lynah, mid 90's. A friend spontaneously yelled at an opponent in the penalty box: "Hey [whoever], I could've been your dad if I'd beat the dog up the stairs!" Don't know if it sounds funny now, but it came at a moment when it was really quiet in the rink and suddenly everyone around was doubled up with laughter, including the guy in the box.

I honestly don't ever remember doing it at Lynah, but that's a line I've used for at least ten years. Was it me...?!

Beeeej, feeling old

[Q]Beeeej Wrote:

Okay, so the "Message List" page says there are six posts in this thread, including a new one - with the most recent by CowbellGuy. But I still only see five (until of course I hit "post" on this one). I've flushed my cache, shift-reloaded, restarted my browser, and cast a few spells, but nothin'. Whassup with that?!

Beeeej[/q]

Yeah, I swear there's a post by CowbellGuy (2nd of the 3 of them) which shows up as the 6th post in flat view, but doesn't show up at all when you switch the view to threaded (it also makes no sense in context so I switched to threaded to try to figure it out, and it doesn't show up at all...)

[Q]Scersk '97 Wrote:"One of the 10 was a Penn student with a megaphone. Not one of those amplified police things but a regular cheerleader-type megaphone. He started during warmups.[/q]

We can use those? I thought boo-girl had me beat.

I don't think anything I've ever said can legitimately be claimed to be one of the "all-time best cheers", but I figured I'd throw in 2 cents anyway... I personally favor yelling things that will legitimately get you into the goalie's head. (I am, of course, but an apprentice to the superior experience of Scersk and Rich. ) The way I see it, in any case, there's no better way to get a goalie off his game than to get his mind on his own real shortcomings. To that end, every uncontrolled rebound, every post hit, every shot that trickles through the five-hole and just wide, is just further ammunition to remind a goalie (oops, that is to say, a sieve) that it's just a matter of time before all those miscues start finding the back of the net. Because Dov *knows* that he doesn't always control his rebounds all that well, and if he's thinking about that for a split second more than he normally would, then that's a split second less that he's thinking about how to deal with the next one.

Anyway, enough philosophy. Maybe it works, maybe it's just the cheering equivalent of self-gratification, but I can't imagine it hurts any (other than my vocal cords).

One that I liked that never gets used much is when Cornell ices the puck, if you're quick enough to see the play coming, call out, "Raise your hand if you suck!" before the opposing goalie raises his arm to signal that he wants the automatic icing call. Can't do this one at NHL games, though.

[Q]cornelldavy Wrote:

One that I liked that never gets used much is when Cornell ices the puck, if you're quick enough to see the play coming, call out, "Raise your hand if you suck!" before the opposing goalie raises his arm to signal that he wants the automatic icing call. Can't do this one at NHL games, though.[/q]

This is good. Right, you have to be quick. You can also get him at the start of the period when he raises his arm for the ready signal, you just have to get the timing right so it's not when McKee raises his hand and you have to be at the visitor end of Lynah.

Speaking of which, it's interesting that Cornell for two periods attacks away from the majority of fans toward the open end of the horseshoe. Maybe there's less visual distraction that way. Maybe the Cornell fans screaming in the first and third periods at the closed end of the horseshoe is more distracting to the visitors. Maybe there's something psychologically better about the defense being part of a closed not open part of the loop. I bet there's a psychology of sport thesis in there somewhere.

"Cornell rejects" makes sense for a Colgate where the applicant probably got the two schools confused, or RPI. They have some pretensions to academics.

Kind of uppity when it's Cornell vs. St. Lawrence or Niagara. Because the St. Lawrence fans are thinking, "Yeah, and you know *you'd* be in Cambridge not Ithaca if your SATs were 50 points better."

It used to be an advantage of sorts because of the "Lynah Bounce," but sadly that is no longer an issue.

[Q]billhoward Wrote:

"Cornell rejects" makes sense for a Colgate where the applicant probably got the two schools confused, or RPI. They have some pretensions to academics.

Kind of uppity when it's Cornell vs. St. Lawrence or Niagara. Because the St. Lawrence fans are thinking, "Yeah, and you know *you'd* be in Cambridge not Ithaca if your SATs were 50 points better." [/q]
Yup, that's exactly what Colgate fans were thinking last year, but we had a response to it, as I remember:
Colgate: "SUNY Ithaca! SUNY Ithaca!"
Cornell: "Cornell rejects! Cornell rejects!"
Colgate: "Harvard rejects! Harvard rejects!"
Cornell: "Didn't bother! Didn't bother!"

Actually, the reply to "SUNY Ithaca" is/was "SUNY Rejects"

What ever happened to "Scrape him off the Ice!!"

[Q]Harrier Wrote:

What ever happened to "Scrape him off the Ice!!"[/q]

Too insensitive?

[Q]Greg Berge Wrote:

My favorite Cornell cheer was in the mid-80's, during Laing Kennedy's "War on Profanity" (which was about as successful as the War on Drugs), we were warned that if we chanted "The Ref Fucks Sheep" anymore we'd get a penalty. On the next poor call, the student section rose en masse and chanted, "We Beg to Differ"![/q]

From the same era we managed to pull off once, "The ref has been seen loitering near bars which loose sheep are known to frequent." Since it was passed around mouth to ear like a game of telephone I have noidea what most people actually shouted for that one, but they seemed to get the scansion right.

I also remember one game where a group of about 30 students had been getting harassed by the ushers all day about borderline language. With a few minutes left in the game, knowing they'd all be thrown out, the entire group stood up and shouted, "Fuck Fuck Fuck, Sheep Sheep Sheep, Fuck Sheep Fuck Sheep Fuck." Not exactly high wit, but we were all in tears laughing as they filed out of the rink.

The Lunatic did a parody of the "Cheering Policy" one year which including things like "All Cheers must be approved in writing by the althletics department. Please present your cheer approval documentation to your section's head user 30 minutes before use." I remember people in our section thinking it was serious and getting furious saying, "It says we can't even criticize the puck anymore!"

There's the notorious cheer coined by one Mike Rosenberg '04 (aka A-19). I think it is Greg Berge's favorite too:

"Which team is the Ivy League?"
"Which team isn't even a school at all?"

This makes a better sign than a cheer:

HARVARD, MIT, BU
Boston's 2 bests schools plus a bridge

[q]Speaking of which, it's interesting that Cornell for two periods attacks away from the majority of fans toward the open end of the horseshoe. Maybe there's less visual distraction that way.[/q]Might be the fact that you can see the clock when going that way.

My uncle was saying that while he was there (he graduated in '81), they used to attack the fan-encompassed side twice, and was disappointed that they'd changed it. He theorized it was probably giving Cornell too much of a psychological advantage over the opposing goalie

It is much louder on the open end of the rink. The band is pointing right at the goal, and the sound echoes off of the wall.

I got a chance to stand in the walkway behind the goal for some of the Red/White game, and it was louder than any rock concert I have been to.

Maybe that's a good reason to stop talking about expanding the rink - no solid wall to reflect sound against the goalie?

[Q]Tub(a) Wrote:
I got a chance to stand in the walkway behind the goal for some of the Red/White game, and it was louder than any rock concert I have been to.[/q]

What?

[Q]schoaff Wrote:
The Lunatic did a parody of the "Cheering Policy" one year which including things like "All Cheers must be approved in writing by the althletics department. Please present your cheer approval documentation to your section's head user 30 minutes before use." I remember people in our section thinking it was serious and getting furious saying, "It says we can't even criticize the puck anymore!"[/q]

My favorite part of the Lunatic's parody of the Cheering Policy (apart from the fake ad showing Paula Abdul saying "Eat Me at Manos!" was "All cheers must contain praise for Laing Kennedy."

Beeeej

[Q]Tub(a) Wrote:

It is much louder on the open end of the rink. The band is pointing right at the goal, and the sound echoes off of the wall.[/q]

I don't think it's louder during the play of the game, when the band isn't allowed to be playing.

I hadn't realized they'd changed it, because it certainly had an effect. There was even one game (against UVM, I think) where they made the goalies switch ends at the 10 minute mark of the third. That's how much it got into somebody's head.

The theories that I'd heard were that our goalie can see the clock at the end of the game, and that it's easier for the goalie to see the puck with the wall in the background rather than randomly colored fans. Not sure I buy the second one, but I have definitely seen opposition sieves in front of A almost twisting their necks out of joint trying to see the clock during the third period - that can't be fun.

[Q]Robb Wrote:

The theories that I'd heard were that our goalie can see the clock at the end of the game, and that it's easier for the goalie to see the puck with the wall in the background rather than randomly colored fans. Not sure I buy the second one, but I have definitely seen opposition sieves in front of A almost twisting their necks out of joint trying to see the clock during the third period - that can't be fun.[/q]

In hockey, what does it matter if the puck comes with you with 10 seconds or 1 second left? You have to stop it. For the team as a whole, perhaps it makes sense. But then only if the score is within a goal.

The cleaner background makes more sense. think about the ballparks with stands in centerfield. They almost never use them and usually they're black or dark green, monochromatic, so the hitter can see the ball better. Of course, in a hockey rink it only makes sense when the shot comes at you from higher than the boards and that's not so often. Maybe for the goalie overall it seems calmer.

Somebody ought to ask Mike.

Goalies do warn their teams about the end of a powerplay, which requires looking at a clock. But in general I don't disagree with you re: the clock.

Batters eyes! And people claim that today's ballplayers are the best ever. Back in Dimaggio's day you didn't whine about the background. You swung the bat with hundreds of people in white shirts sitting in dead center field, right behind the pitcher's release point. And if you couldn't see the pitch that the hurler was throwing at your head then tough luck - you swung anyway. And you didn't wear batting helmets - you just took the ball off of your hard head and stumbled down to first...[all together now].... And we liked it!

(Sorry, I got carried away.)

The visibility of the puck is the reason that I remember being given when I was around (1970 +/- half a dozen years). On the clock issue, I can imagine that a goalie might better anticipate when a shot would come in the closing seconds if he had as much information about the clock as the attackers, or might play a rebound slightly differntly.

In thise days, the rule was that "The Referee shall toss a coin before the match in the presence of the captains, first designating which captain shall call. The winner of the toss shall have the choice of ends, which his team shall defend. NOTE - ... The captain of the visiting team shall be selected to call."

The practice was that Cornell took the closed end except when some other team made a big stink about it. I don't know why the refs ignored that rule so universally, unless there was tacit understand around the league that the home team always got its choice.

one of my fav cheers, to colgate's elderly fans/parents of players last year: "you will die soon"

mike

[Q]KeithK Wrote:

Goalies do warn their teams about the end of a powerplay, which requires looking at a clock. But in general I don't disagree with you re: the clock.

Batters eyes! And people claim that today's ballplayers are the best ever. Back in Dimaggio's day you didn't whine about the background. You swung the bat with hundreds of people in white shirts sitting in dead center field, right behind the pitcher's release point. And if you couldn't see the pitch that the hurler was throwing at your head then tough luck - you swung anyway. And you didn't wear batting helmets - you just took the ball off of your hard head and stumbled down to first....... And we liked it!

(Sorry, I got carried away.)[/q]

And you could wind up as Don Zimmer.

If you want to read about what wusses today's athletes are, go find every fourth column by Brock Yates in Car and Driver. Yates seems to feel somewhat like Papa Hemingway, that unless you risk death, the sport is not sport.

Hmm, a coin toss to determine which team chooses which end for hockey. Didn't know that existed, even in the abstract. With hockey, I thought the teams each were closest to their respective benches in the first and third periods, and I don't think the benches changed game to game.

Now that's one for Uncle Ezra.

[Q]The practice was that Cornell took the closed end except when some other team made a big stink about it. I don't know why the refs ignored that rule so universally, unless there was tacit understand around the league that the home team always got its choice.[/Q]
General courtesy was that the home team had its choice. I only remember one game during my years there when we wound up skating the other way (toward the closed end in the 1st and 3rd), when Harvard demanded the coin toss to throw us off our game. They won the toss, had a talented team, but they still sucked when it came to trying to beat Cornell. Might have been in the '68-69 season, but I'm not sure.

[Q]jkahn Wrote:

The practice was that Cornell took the closed end except when some other team made a big stink about it. I don't know why the refs ignored that rule so universally, unless there was tacit understand around the league that the home team always got its choice.[/Q]
General courtesy was that the home team had its choice. I only remember one game during my years there when we wound up skating the other way (toward the closed end in the 1st and 3rd), when Harvard demanded the coin toss to throw us off our game. They won the toss, had a talented team, but they still sucked when it came to trying to beat Cornell. Might have been in the '68-69 season, but I'm not sure.[/q]

And that incident never made it into Love Story?