alternate words to the alma mater

[hockeychick470]

One of the residents of my nursing home went to Cornell's nursing program for a short preiod of time and she started singing the alternate lyrics to the alma mater to me when i wore my hockey hoodie the othe day.  However, she can't remember more than the first verse and the first line of the refrain.  Does anyone know the rest of the alternate lyrics??

[mnagowski]

How did the first verse go?

[David Harding]

Here one version.

Verse 1:
High Above Cayuga's Waters/There's an awful smell/
Some say its Cayuga's Waters; I say it's Cornell

Chorus:
Flush the toilets,
Flush the toilets,
Flush them all to hell!
Twenty-thousand SOBs
Call themselves Cornell.

Verse 2:
Oh, the odor. Oh, the odor. Oh, that awful smell
Before I'd go to Cornell; I'd rather go to hell.

Verse 3:
High above Cayuga's waters /Some poor bastard fell /
Finals make me think of Gorges / jump for joy Cornell

Verse 4:
Far above Cayuga's waters/ Stand the gates of hell.
There five thousand sons of Belial/ Call themselves Cornell.

Allan Sherman used the tune and some of the theme in "No One's Perfect"

[hockeychick470]

Thanks!  That seems to be the version that most people come up with and the first verse we all know.  I'm a little disappointed because she remembers the chorus starting with "alma mater, lost my guarder" which could have made for a very interesting rendition... maybe that was a one they'd made up in the nursing program (when it still existed :/)

none the less, she's been singing the first verse to me (and anyone else who will listen while i'm around) for the past week, and every time i see the glee in her stroke ridden face, it makes me love my job a little bit more. one thing that i did not expect, especially working in a nursing home in VA, that as been really touching to me as a recent alum is seeing how many people have ties to Cornell... as sappy as that sounds, its been really cool talking to people and finding many stories that lead back to Ithaca and Cornell

[jeff '84]

Ha! Thanks, my dad (jealous CCNY wisenheimer) used to sing that to me....

[Josh '99]

It takes a clever wordsmith to rhyme "Cayuga's waters" with "Cayuga's waters".

[polar]

It takes a clever wordsmith to rhyme "Cayuga's waters" with "Cayuga's waters".

Somehow still more clever than whatever the Penn band sang at the last football game this year. All I remember is

"Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
ra ra ra"

[French Rage]

It takes a clever wordsmith to rhyme "Cayuga's waters" with "Cayuga's waters".

Somehow still more clever than whatever the Penn band sang at the last football game this year. All I remember is

"Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
ra ra ra"

Which is Shakespeare compared to anything any Colgate fan has ever come up with ever.

[Josh '99]

It takes a clever wordsmith to rhyme "Cayuga's waters" with "Cayuga's waters".

Somehow still more clever than whatever the Penn band sang at the last football game this year. All I remember is

"Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
ra ra ra"

Which is Shakespeare compared to anything any Colgate fan has ever come up with ever.

Colgate fans let their pizza do the talking, which is probably good because the pizza is more articulate.

[Chris '03]

It takes a clever wordsmith to rhyme "Cayuga's waters" with "Cayuga's waters".

Somehow still more clever than whatever the Penn band sang at the last football game this year. All I remember is

"Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
Cornell eats shit,
ra ra ra"

Which is Shakespeare compared to anything any Colgate fan has ever come up with ever.

Colgate fans let their pizza do the talking, which is probably good because the pizza is more articulate.

Didn't they make up t-shirts one year that actually said "Ivy Envy" on them?