ELynah Forum

This fatuous "Yo Momma" charlatan has traveled into frigid waters. I, the indisputable Joe Momma, could never have made those posts ( http://elf.hockey.cornell.edu/read.php?f=1&i=11256&t=11167 ) as I have been plowing the streets and sidewalks of Roseville, MI for the last two weeks with a tablespoon since an early December snow fall. All in concerted efforts to ensure Big David's Christmas break pilgrimage back to his homeland is a satisfactory experience, and free of all dangerous foot travel that may threaten his post-Cornell hockey career. There is a 95% chance the virgin snow will melt before David's advent, but you can never be too cautious when it comes to potentially slippery walkways. A trait I learned from David himself. It was once rumored David's middle name was indeed "caution".

All of the snow is being guided to David's back yard, where he will melt the 190-ft pile with nothing but his body heat... A preparation drill David actually invented himself to prepare for the environmental factors faced when playing St. Claire Shores Civic Arena and having to dress in locker room B. A storied locker room to say the least, that since 1981, has had a spasmodic heater. This exercise is said to be the precursor that laid the building blocks for what later would be known as tantra.

Big David also found fringe benefits in the "sit in a big ass pile of snow naked" exercise, as it allowed him to use submarine tactics such as an extended belly slide to thwart break-away attempts. Never once did the young Francis get a frost bitten mid-section. Dare I say "conditioned" should be candidate for David's new middle name?

In any event, may the imposter "Yo Momma" forever cease and desist.

Happy Kwanzaa.

Best,
Joe Momma